When Was the Last Time You Really Looked at Your Spouse?
Life gets busy. Between work deadlines, school runs, grocery shopping, and everything else on your plate, when did you last spend quality time with your partner? Not just sitting on the sofa scrolling through your phones, but connecting.
In the latest series of Daily Grace: Couples Dinner Edition, Pastor James and guests shared the importance of spending quality time with your spouse. The guests include Christian & Linda Chukwuemeka, David & Esther Agbo and Gboyega & Damilola Ogunsote.
More Than Just a Night Out
“Marriage is an investment,” Linda said, and honestly, those four words hit hard. She and her husband Christian have been married for 17 years and have four children. Like most parents, they’re constantly juggling responsibilities.
“We get very carried away by things around us- children, work, and other things,” Linda explained. “Life is busy. But it’s always nice to have programs where couples have the opportunity to invest in themselves.”
The couples’ dinner wasn’t your typical church event. Yes, there was a message from guest speakers, but there was also good food, dancing, games, and an atmosphere that felt more like a romantic date night than a religious gathering.
The Power of Small Moments
The most beautiful things were the “wow moments” each couple shared- those simple activities that created lasting impact.
For Christian, it was a game where couples sat back-to-back and answered questions about each other. “It gives you an idea of do I really know my spouse?” he said. “Sometimes couples live and become strangers, even though they live in the same house under the same roof.”
His relief when their answers matched was obvious. “That was a great moment for me, to know that my wife knows me and I know her.” But it was the couples’ dance that seemed to touch everyone most deeply.
Picture this: dim lights, slow music, couples holding each other close, looking into each other’s eyes. No phones. No kids tugging at their sleeves. Just the two of them.
“That gave us a moment to just look at each other closely, reconnect, laugh, and talk about intimate stuff,” Linda shared. “In the world that we live in, that romance is lost along the way. So, it gives us the opportunity to reconnect and get the spark back.”
Creating Memories on Purpose
Gboyega Ogunsote, who helped organise this year’s event, made a point: “Life is all about creating memories, and we have to be deliberate about creating them.”
Deliberate. That’s the key word, isn’t it?
His wife Damilola added, “Most of the time couples are busy, and we might not really have that opportunity to really do that dating time and time together. So, it’s good to have a dedicated time in a year, especially as a church, to encourage couples to come together.”
Beyond the ambiance and activities, the guest minister shared something that resonated with everyone: “Don’t stop dating each other.” Simple advice, but how many of us follow it?
David emphasised the importance of communication. “If we don’t communicate, if both of us don’t hear each other, there is definitely going to be conflict. We’re putting every single effort to make sure that we communicate and listen to each other- not just listen to respond, but listen to understand.” Esther recalled another powerful message from the evening: “Fight with each other instead of against each other.”
Why This Matters
When you first hear about a church couples’ dinner, you might wonder if it would just be another lecture about marriage, but listening to these couples, you’ll realise it was something completely different.
It was permission. Permission to pause the chaos, to prioritise each other, to remember why you fell in love in the first place.
Marriage isn’t always easy. The community we live in throws challenges at us constantly. However, when a church creates space for couples to reconnect, to laugh together, to dance in dim lights and look into each other’s eyes- that’s powerful.
Here’s what is amazing: the whole evening cost couples just £50. According to Pastor James, the guest speaker confided in him that she couldn’t believe the cost, saying she would have expected to pay at least £150 for such an experience.
So, When Was the Last Time?
When was the last time you really looked at your spouse? Not a glance across the breakfast table or a quick peck goodbye as you rush out the door, but really looked.
The couples Pastor James interviewed all said the same thing: they left that evening feeling renewed, reconnected, and reminded of what matters most.
Sometimes we need that reminder. We need someone to dim the lights, play slow music, and give us permission to stop being busy and just be together.
Here’s the thing, your marriage is worth investing in and sometimes the best investment you can make is simply showing up, holding your partner close, and looking into their eyes like you did all those years ago.
Don’t let romance be something you used to have, make it something you’re deliberately creating, one moment at a time.
Next year’s couples’ dinner is already scheduled for Saturday, June 20, 2026. Will you be there?
L-R: Apostles Tunde & Toyin Balogun and Pastors James & Tolu Egodibie
